Self Sabotage

Have you ever had an experience where you get the opportunity to start a project, a task, something important? You start off well, full of ideas, full of enthusiasm, full of excitement! As you get or move further into the realm of the task you committed yourself into doing, you find the excitement, the enthusiasm, the ideas being replaced by negative thoughts and talk along with lack of desire or excitement. Has this ever happened?
Yes, it happens to more of us than we care to know. The scenario as quoted plays out in our everyday lives without us even noticing that it is happening. Yet most of the time we choose not to notice rather than indicating that we are not noticing it. This act of allowing ourselves to misplace our minds, our subconscious in the negative contexts as per example presented is also known as self sabotage.

Why can we not be positive about everything or anything? The human mind, the subconscious is like a massive hall of cabinets with filing systems for any and every conceivable category of your life. Everything you experience, every one of your senses available that experiences a taste, sight, sound, smell, sensation, emotions, is recorded and filed in your filing system of your mind. Along with this a belief system is formed regarding the experience. This mostly occurs in childhood years and sometimes reinforced as we get older. Have you ever listened to a piece of music in your adult years finding yourself being transported back in time to an occasion that was happy times or made you feel sad? Your memory, your “filing cabinet” was opened to the occasion. All it required was a trigger. The piece of music or the sound sensations were the trigger effects.

Where am I going with all of this? Self Sabotage works very much the same way or in similar ways. We have all heard the saying, what you believe you will conceive. Let me use an example. One of my clients I have been working with came to me with the concern and seeking answers to her questions of why she could not have long lasting relationships. Every time she started a new relationship it would last for a few months and then she would end it. After working through a series of questions, exercises and discussions the following outcome was derived. As a child my client was known as the tom boyish nerdy type individual. She was continually teased and ridiculed and was often told that she would not find a boyfriend or would not be found to be attractive to the opposite sex. Even her parents would tease her but not in a vindictive way around family and friend gatherings. As she grew older she hardly entertained the opposite sex and chose to withdraw being shy and reserved. Every time someone would inquire if she was in a relationship or when was she going to start going out with the opposite sex, it would be an awkward moment, sometimes uncomfortable for my client. When she started living on her own, she decided one day to take up an offer of a date and this resulted into a relationship, one of many. She could not keep a relationship for longer than a few months.

The basic conclusion to her problem was that when she started dating, she stepped out of the realism of her subconscious mind for the moment, only to be brought back by her belief system. Even though my client is an attractive and well educated woman her belief system was that she was the tom boyish nerd and wasn’t deserving of someone of the opposite sex, never mind a relationship. When the relationship was going well, she would self sabotage the relationship with her negative belief system. Go to the belief system in the “tom boyish nerdy girl” file. What you believe, is what you will conceive.

Self sabotage can present themselves in a number of areas in one’s life. It can be relationships, money, personal success or even health.

If you are trying hard to achieve something but cannot seem to move beyond a certain point or if you are close to achieving a goal and then give up on it or you seem to have it all and then just let it be thrown away, then you are indulging in self sabotaging behavior. Self sabotage is all due to a negative or limiting belief system.

Soulbeat

Welcome to Soulbeat Consulting

We all have within us the capacity and ability to live our fullest lives. There is a potential within us that is all too often unexplored and often wasted.
Life Coaching is one of the fastest growing development and performance improving technique services in the 21th century. Our lives are fast paced in the modern world and with individuals suffering from constant burnouts, stress related ailments, unhappiness, depressions and the likes, more and more people yearn to seek and find a place of direction, peace and tranquility. A place where one can find themselves and realize their true inner selves. A place where they can learn to live their fullest lives. That place is often sought after. That place is searched for far and wide, but yet that place lies right within each and one of us. It lies within the depths of our soul, our mind our inner being.
Life Coaching attempts to awaken you to the amazing possibilities that you possess and shows you how to find them and use them for the benefits of yourself, your family, your employer or your staff. A Life Coach is neither a doctor nor a therapist. A Life Coach is someone who stands for you and what you believe in. They are there to support you and advise you. Your Life Coach does not possess all the answers, but merely guides you to answer some of your own questions and visit and overcome some of your deepest fears.
With Soulbeat Consulting the approach is different to the normal Life Coaching practices. The benefit of coaching via online is that it is discreet, confidential and the individual can also maintain their privacy. However, it must be stressed that, if you have time on your hands, like to write/type as form of your expressions and comfortable and willing to correspond via the e-mail format, this could be for you. Soulbeat Consulting affords one to have an outlet. Someone to talk to. Someone to confide in. Online Consulting affords one to work at convenient times and is more cost effective than making use of telephone, and travel costs to attend set appointments.
On my blog, I wish to share insight on the aspect of “Self Sabotage”, which is my core focus when dealing with people who are seeking their true dreams, potentials and selves.
So, be sure to be a regular on my blog and read some of my blog articles which I hope and know can be of some insight and help.

Belief Systems

I am sure we all ask ourselves a question sometime or another about who am I, where am I headed, why am I here? Yes, we have all heard that we are all here for a reason, a purpose, yet plenty of us don’t even know where to begin, to start at.
Whether we choose to agree or not, we are all products of our past. As we have aged, we have been modeled on our experiences, beliefs and actions. Our minds are made up of our consciousness and then the more hidden sub consciousness that we often choose to ignore. Ever hear the saying, “follow your heart, not your head”, well, that is the best way to describe the two entities on consciousness that dwell within us. In some ways, our outer consciousness would refer to our “head”. Our deeper sub consciousness would refer to our “heart”.
As a baby born into this world, you are born with little, if no personal reservations or fears. As we embark on our journey of life, as young as we are, guided by our parents, grandparents and others that come into our lives, we develop our senses, intellect, ourselves, conditioned on what we have been subjected to, taught and exposed to. Proven studies have shown that if a child was reared in a violent dysfunction family and survives to adulthood with no change in his or circumstances, the chances and likelihood is extremely good that that individual will continue those traits as has been bestowed over the years. A trait made up of belief systems and habits.
The sad part of all of this is more and more people are realising this late into their lives and some of the damage has already been inflicted on some, those close to that person or individual.
Living life is all choices, and sadly a lot of our choices are based on what we choose to believe. If your belief system is one track minded, your choices are going to be one track minded. If your belief is that all in the world is negative, your choices are going to be negative. Yet, if you have an open minded deposition and thoughts, your choices are going to be open minded and open to variation. If you believe you are not a confident person, you will fail to be that confident person. If you believe the world is full of love and happiness, you will attract that love and happiness. If you believe people cannot be trusted, you will live your life suspicious of people or motives. As you can see, a few of my analogies bring out a common word; “belief”. The end fact is that should your belief system have negative connotations, not much will be positive. If however the belief system has positive connotations, not much can be negative.
It is possible for someone to “have it all” based on their personal well being and then lose it. This can be a result of what they call self sabotage due to what is in their belief system. The same can be said the other way round.
To determine why this happens, one needs to delve deeper and enter the “filing system” of the deeper subconscious mind. This is where one can find some of the keys to their personal belief systems. Our negative belief systems are primarily constructed from fear. Working through your fears, you need to understand where they originated from, why they are there and what they do for you or not. This can be done by working through a life coach. A person who will assist you to answer some of your own questions. To assist you in visiting your belief systems and how they possibly affect you. The role they play and how to understand them.