Yes, it happens to more of us than we care to know. The scenario as quoted plays out in our everyday lives without us even noticing that it is happening. Yet most of the time we choose not to notice rather than indicating that we are not noticing it. This act of allowing ourselves to misplace our minds, our subconscious in the negative contexts as per example presented is also known as self sabotage.
Why can we not be positive about everything or anything? The human mind, the subconscious is like a massive hall of cabinets with filing systems for any and every conceivable category of your life. Everything you experience, every one of your senses available that experiences a taste, sight, sound, smell, sensation, emotions, is recorded and filed in your filing system of your mind. Along with this a belief system is formed regarding the experience. This mostly occurs in childhood years and sometimes reinforced as we get older. Have you ever listened to a piece of music in your adult years finding yourself being transported back in time to an occasion that was happy times or made you feel sad? Your memory, your “filing cabinet” was opened to the occasion. All it required was a trigger. The piece of music or the sound sensations were the trigger effects.
Where am I going with all of this? Self Sabotage works very much the same way or in similar ways. We have all heard the saying, what you believe you will conceive. Let me use an example. One of my clients I have been working with came to me with the concern and seeking answers to her questions of why she could not have long lasting relationships. Every time she started a new relationship it would last for a few months and then she would end it. After working through a series of questions, exercises and discussions the following outcome was derived. As a child my client was known as the tom boyish nerdy type individual. She was continually teased and ridiculed and was often told that she would not find a boyfriend or would not be found to be attractive to the opposite sex. Even her parents would tease her but not in a vindictive way around family and friend gatherings. As she grew older she hardly entertained the opposite sex and chose to withdraw being shy and reserved. Every time someone would inquire if she was in a relationship or when was she going to start going out with the opposite sex, it would be an awkward moment, sometimes uncomfortable for my client. When she started living on her own, she decided one day to take up an offer of a date and this resulted into a relationship, one of many. She could not keep a relationship for longer than a few months.
The basic conclusion to her problem was that when she started dating, she stepped out of the realism of her subconscious mind for the moment, only to be brought back by her belief system. Even though my client is an attractive and well educated woman her belief system was that she was the tom boyish nerd and wasn’t deserving of someone of the opposite sex, never mind a relationship. When the relationship was going well, she would self sabotage the relationship with her negative belief system. Go to the belief system in the “tom boyish nerdy girl” file. What you believe, is what you will conceive.
Self sabotage can present themselves in a number of areas in one’s life. It can be relationships, money, personal success or even health.
If you are trying hard to achieve something but cannot seem to move beyond a certain point or if you are close to achieving a goal and then give up on it or you seem to have it all and then just let it be thrown away, then you are indulging in self sabotaging behavior. Self sabotage is all due to a negative or limiting belief system.
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