Fears

Fear is probably our biggest hurdle in life. Imagine a world of absolute no fear! Go on, imagine! Was it easy to imagine, or were you just getting there, then your mind was filtrated by one, or more or many negative visions, thoughts or “walls”? Yes, our minds have been programmed to fear according to what we have been and are subjected to in our lives, exposed to and to what extent our belief system processes it.

There are many definitions of the word fear, and I picked out four of my favorites. Fear is: False evidence appearing real. Fear is: Forget everything and run! Fear is: Failure expected and received. Fear is: Find excuses and reasons. If one reads through those statements again, one will see that the word FEAR and its definitions, has pretty much the same negative connotations.

I have mentioned in previous articles that most of our belief systems are derived from early childhood and reinforced as we grow older. On recent studies and readings, theorists depict that between 80 to 90 percent of us come from dysfunctional families. A good definition of this is where you have a family where there is little or no practice of unconditional love continuously. We learn what we do as kids from our parents and they from there’s and there’s from them. Whatever those before you had experienced, good or bad that impacted their lives and belief systems, you are bound to learn from them. From religion to what is good and what is bad for you. How we are conditioned and programmed continue in our own homes. Ever have an experience where your parents would scold you for something you did that you believed was not wrong and after that be told by your parents you should listen to them more often, as “they know best”? Well, if you did the same thing over and were scolded more often, you would and could have ended up believing that what you were doing was wrong but innocently you could have been right. You would have also developed a belief of fear on doing the right or wrong thing. We often didn’t agree with our parents at a young age, but “you will do as your parents say”, was common programming.

If you are married with kids, take a moment and try recall if you have bestowed any of your parent’s habits onto your own kids. Experts claim that up to the age of five years we process an equivalent of twenty thousand hours of parental recordings and programs. This would center on our subconscious mind, what we believe, what is wrong or right, how we see things in life, how we should conduct ourselves as well as our communication skills and how we express our emotions. As we mature into adults, we are subjected to more experiences that will add to or reinforce our belief systems on how we view the world and what we “should fear”.

Remember as babies, as kids we do not have a wealth of knowledge, life experience to lean or pull on. At this time whatever you hear, experience or learn, you will accept as the truth. Your truth. This will form your belief system. Even when you get older, whatever it is you may learn that is new after-wards will in most cases take second spot to your firstly acquired belief. We sometimes don’t want to try something new because we fear failure. The fear of failure stems from experiences of failure and how they impacted you in your early past. You could have been scolded, you could have been ridiculed, and you could have even succeeded in something but were told you could do better. Fear of failure doesn’t just appear. It is attached to earlier life experiences, sensations and emotions that could also coincide with an earlier belief system relating to failure. Fear is man-made. We are not born with it.

To overcome fear, we need to understand fear. We need to understand its origin. We need to question our beliefs about fear. We need to acknowledge what it does to us and we need to determine if that fear is valid.

Once we acknowledge all of this, we can work on denying that fear the ability to control us. This takes courage and willingness, practice and patience. Fear that is invalid requires building a new belief system around it to eradicate such fear. This can also be done with the help or assistance of a counselor or life coach.

We all have a purpose in life. Our purpose is not determined by anyone or anything. Our purpose is determined by us alone. One who chooses to live his life by fear will fail in his endeavor to live his life of purpose. Quote: Clint le Roux